Since my dear Dragon has already mentioned that she was going to try to get me to post here as well, I figured I'd go ahead and do it. I wouldn't want to get in trouble right off the bat.
When D first mentioned actual spanking in 2003, I was shocked. We had already started watching spanking videos years before, which was also her idea. She seemed to get more aroused watching those types of videos, and since I am easily aroused anyway, watching spanking videos was fine with me. I didn't realize how into it she was until she let me know that she actually wanted to be spanked. After that we would play around with it during foreplay. Nothing too spectacular...just enough to get her in the mood. That went on until the middle of 2007. Then things took a drastic turn.....for the better.
It started when I was away from home for a few weeks and we were emailing back and forth. During one of our email sessions, she told me that she wanted me to have total control in the bedroom. This included everything from how we had sex, to what she wore to bed, and even how she would "trim". She said when I got home she would fully submit to me and suggested that in order for this to feel more real that we should have a "claiming ceremony". This would be the beginning of our new arrangement and set the stage for things to come. I told her that I loved the idea and that she better be sure she was ready for it. She said she was and when I got home, I took over in the bedroom. The claiming ceremony was simple but effective. That was the first time I gave her a spanking that wasn't for play. It made her realize what she could get if she disobeyed my wishes in the bedroom. Our sex life picked up for a while, but then life seemed to get in the way, as it often does. I still have control in the bedroom, but I have a better understanding of when the right time is, and that the right time has to be the same for both of us for it to be good.
Then about a month later I was working nights and I would call home to chat when I had a break. One night D told me that she had been thinking about something a little different for us. She had talked about Domestic Discipline before, but this time she said she believed she needed it. At first I wasn't sure if I was ready for something like that. I thought about it for a while before telling her that I was willing to try it. Once we got started, and we were both posting to the DD website, I realized that I was a little overewhelmed with the changes. I tried, but I just couldn't step into the role like I needed to. And it was causing an even bigger strain on us.
And as you have already read....we found a solution that suits us very well.
~T~
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Welcome
Welcome to the wild and whacky world of Dragon and Tiger. I'll begin this blog with a short introduction to how we came to the road we're on.
For a long time I (Dragon) have been a spanko. What is a spanko? Well for me, it means that I am enthralled with just about every aspect of spanking whether it be for erotic play or discipline and I have been for a very long time (more the discipline side earlier in life as I didn't even know what erotic was much less that spanking could be done for fun and not for punishment). It wasn't until my mid to late 20's that I realized what I was. I always thought I was a weirdo for wanting to witness or read about spankings. I would spend hours searching for spanking stories on the web and to me, the more real the spanking was, the better. A few years ago (2003 to be exact) I finally realized and admitted my desire to actually be spanked for erotic play to my husband (Tiger) and got my first one shortly after. Since then we have been using spankings in our bedroom play (both of us being on the receiving end though T was much happier being on the giving side of the swats then receiving).
In the past year, I stumbled upon a website that dealt with Domestic Disciple (DD from this point) in real life situations. I'd read many stories and seen it on adult movies but until I read this site and the blog and posting forums associated with it, I didn't realize that people in this day and age actually practiced this kind of lifestyle. Seeing as a good percentage of DD relationships follow the traditional male head of house (HOH), when I approached T with DD, that is what I brought to him. I knew in my heart that things in our house had to change. We'd been too complacent and lazy for too long. We bought what we wanted (running up high credit card debt) and showed little or no self control in any aspect of our lives. Something had to change. I needed help to be a better, healthier person and I felt that if he had the authority to give me rules and guidelines and a means to enforce them, not only would it help me with my problems but change his attitude and lifestyle in the process. Well, it made sense and sounded good at least.
For our entire married life (11 1/2 years so far) I had been "in charge" and all the decisions were made by me for the most part. T didn't have much say nor did he really want any in the decisions that were made in our lives. His motto was "it's better to just go along with it then fight the system". For a long time he was content to let me run the house while he sat back and let it be run. Well, that wasn't working for us anymore and even though our marriage was still as strong as the day I walked down the aisle, our family was miserable. The house was never very tidy (it wasn't filthy so I guess cluttered and disorganized is a better way to put it), we had stacks of bills, we ate poorly (most of the time a meal consisted of some sort of fast food which meant we wasting money on eating out instead of decent healthy meals at home), we didn't exercise and really, we did nothing to help ourselves. We were both lazy and unmotivated to do anything about the situation we were in. And this all went on with me as the one "in charge". So I thought our best route was for me to step down and T to step up. One problem. He didn't know how. He'd sat back and ignored it for so long, he now didn't know 85% of the things that went on in the house or how to run the house at all.
After careful discussion we came to an agreement. Dual Domestic Discipline (DDD). Basically, I'm training him to step up more and take better care of himself and the family and he is training me to step down more and let go of some of the control. I have the authority to set rules and guidelines for him and punish should the need arise and he has the same authority over me. We're still in the infancy of our DDD but are working toward making it work. We started off the New Year with Expectation Letters to each other outlining what we would like to see change and what we expect from each other. It's a start.
Welcome to our journey...
~D~
For a long time I (Dragon) have been a spanko. What is a spanko? Well for me, it means that I am enthralled with just about every aspect of spanking whether it be for erotic play or discipline and I have been for a very long time (more the discipline side earlier in life as I didn't even know what erotic was much less that spanking could be done for fun and not for punishment). It wasn't until my mid to late 20's that I realized what I was. I always thought I was a weirdo for wanting to witness or read about spankings. I would spend hours searching for spanking stories on the web and to me, the more real the spanking was, the better. A few years ago (2003 to be exact) I finally realized and admitted my desire to actually be spanked for erotic play to my husband (Tiger) and got my first one shortly after. Since then we have been using spankings in our bedroom play (both of us being on the receiving end though T was much happier being on the giving side of the swats then receiving).
In the past year, I stumbled upon a website that dealt with Domestic Disciple (DD from this point) in real life situations. I'd read many stories and seen it on adult movies but until I read this site and the blog and posting forums associated with it, I didn't realize that people in this day and age actually practiced this kind of lifestyle. Seeing as a good percentage of DD relationships follow the traditional male head of house (HOH), when I approached T with DD, that is what I brought to him. I knew in my heart that things in our house had to change. We'd been too complacent and lazy for too long. We bought what we wanted (running up high credit card debt) and showed little or no self control in any aspect of our lives. Something had to change. I needed help to be a better, healthier person and I felt that if he had the authority to give me rules and guidelines and a means to enforce them, not only would it help me with my problems but change his attitude and lifestyle in the process. Well, it made sense and sounded good at least.
For our entire married life (11 1/2 years so far) I had been "in charge" and all the decisions were made by me for the most part. T didn't have much say nor did he really want any in the decisions that were made in our lives. His motto was "it's better to just go along with it then fight the system". For a long time he was content to let me run the house while he sat back and let it be run. Well, that wasn't working for us anymore and even though our marriage was still as strong as the day I walked down the aisle, our family was miserable. The house was never very tidy (it wasn't filthy so I guess cluttered and disorganized is a better way to put it), we had stacks of bills, we ate poorly (most of the time a meal consisted of some sort of fast food which meant we wasting money on eating out instead of decent healthy meals at home), we didn't exercise and really, we did nothing to help ourselves. We were both lazy and unmotivated to do anything about the situation we were in. And this all went on with me as the one "in charge". So I thought our best route was for me to step down and T to step up. One problem. He didn't know how. He'd sat back and ignored it for so long, he now didn't know 85% of the things that went on in the house or how to run the house at all.
After careful discussion we came to an agreement. Dual Domestic Discipline (DDD). Basically, I'm training him to step up more and take better care of himself and the family and he is training me to step down more and let go of some of the control. I have the authority to set rules and guidelines for him and punish should the need arise and he has the same authority over me. We're still in the infancy of our DDD but are working toward making it work. We started off the New Year with Expectation Letters to each other outlining what we would like to see change and what we expect from each other. It's a start.
Welcome to our journey...
~D~
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