I don't know if anyone even reads this anymore but I figured I would update anyway. I know it's been a long time since either of us has made an entry here but there was nothing to really talk about until now. A couple weekends ago we had went out for a nice dinner with the daughter. While we were outside smoking and she was looking around at stuff, we had a little bit of a conversation about DD. We decided to head home and then to the beach. While the daughter walked the beach, we were able to sit and have a good conversation about it and discuss how we wanted to proceed with the life style. So we've finally taken some steps to get back on track with this. We both admitted (it's really no surprise) that we do need this life style and the structure and accountability and are now moving forward. We discussed the reasons why it kind of fell apart before and why we hadn't worked on making it work. For me, it was one main thing. That rule about eating. I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love to eat tasty stuff but hate how it makes me feel afterwards. We've decided to revamp our rules (we haven't had a chance to do it yet, life has been hectic) and the food rule will not be in there. I know that sounds like I'm just complaining and getting my way but we both realized that it was a big problem to have that rule and in reality, that one rule was really what was holding us back from making this work. I would follow it begrudgingly when forced to, but if he had done something, I would tend to "let it slide" just so I could get him to let that rule slide. Unfortunately, that just made everything fall apart. Hopefully now that this rule is gone and we are able to sit down and set the expectations and rules, we'll be able to really get things accomplished. So here's hoping...
~D~
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Still On the Road
We're still in our lull but things should be looking up soon. Instead of DDD not even entering our conscious world we're at least talking about it and acknowledging that it needs to be reincorporated back into our relationship. Our days are slowing down a bit and things don't seem to be as hectic as they were. Hopefully we'll be able to reconnect and reestablish our journey. This coming weekend should be nice and relaxing so it would be a great time to sit down and get things back on track. Time to fill that gas tank and continue the journey...
~D~
~D~
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Driving through the desert
Let me set the stage....
You are taking a road trip across the country and are driving on a long straight road. It is mid-day. You pan around and the only break in the horizon is the point where the road meets the horizon miles ahead of you. The radio lost it's signal hours ago and the cds you brought with you have been played so much that the songs blend together into noise. The only other car you've seen was a state trooper heading the other direction about 3 hours ago. The gas gauge is sitting on a quarter of a tank and you're not sure if there is going to be a gas station before the light comes on.
That is where we are right now. I'm not sure how we got here, and I'm not sure how we are going to get to where we are going. The only thing I do know is that we are in this car together and if we don't start talking and figuring out how to keep going, we may end up on the side of the road waiting for someone to come along and help us. I don't want to give up. I want to push on and find the gas station ahead, but I don't know how far it is.
Maybe it's just over the horizon....only time will tell.
~T~
You are taking a road trip across the country and are driving on a long straight road. It is mid-day. You pan around and the only break in the horizon is the point where the road meets the horizon miles ahead of you. The radio lost it's signal hours ago and the cds you brought with you have been played so much that the songs blend together into noise. The only other car you've seen was a state trooper heading the other direction about 3 hours ago. The gas gauge is sitting on a quarter of a tank and you're not sure if there is going to be a gas station before the light comes on.
That is where we are right now. I'm not sure how we got here, and I'm not sure how we are going to get to where we are going. The only thing I do know is that we are in this car together and if we don't start talking and figuring out how to keep going, we may end up on the side of the road waiting for someone to come along and help us. I don't want to give up. I want to push on and find the gas station ahead, but I don't know how far it is.
Maybe it's just over the horizon....only time will tell.
~T~
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
New Implement Review
T and I received a package from a dear friend of ours containing 2 home made paddles. One with holes, one without. They are made of wood and when used with more intensity, are far more severe then the implements we already have. Of course, as soon as I opened the package and we had a bit of privacy, we had to try them out. T didn't know these things were being sent to us as I had kept it a secret. So we gave each other a few "test swats" and along with the usual sting associated with a wooden paddle, these left a lasting "burn", even with the light test swats we used.
That night I decided to use the new paddles on T for erotic purposes. As most people will attest to, any implement can be used much harder and longer when it's being used for erotic purposes. It's all in the mindset. Anyway, so I used the new paddle, with holes, on T that night and afterwards noticed something that had never happened before. He had bruises. Little bruises the size of the holes in the paddle and I didn't even use anywhere near full strength in my swats. This is the first time this has ever happened. T is a "light weight" when it comes to pain but at the same time, his skin does not bruise very easily. He can run into a wall or fall over something and there won't be a mark on him. So I was a bit surprised when I discovered the bruises (they weren't visible yet during the paddling as not only had they not surfaced yet but at the same time his little tush was quite red so I wouldn't have seen them yet even if they were there). It stands to reason now that when T uses that paddle on me, he will have to be very careful as I DO bruise easily. I think my butt is much more resilient then the rest of me though as he's delivered some quite intense erotic spankings and I didn't have any bruises. But we shall see.
On a side note, Welcome to all our new readers and a big THANK YOU to Bonnie (My Bottom Smarts) for helping us get some readership.
~D~
That night I decided to use the new paddles on T for erotic purposes. As most people will attest to, any implement can be used much harder and longer when it's being used for erotic purposes. It's all in the mindset. Anyway, so I used the new paddle, with holes, on T that night and afterwards noticed something that had never happened before. He had bruises. Little bruises the size of the holes in the paddle and I didn't even use anywhere near full strength in my swats. This is the first time this has ever happened. T is a "light weight" when it comes to pain but at the same time, his skin does not bruise very easily. He can run into a wall or fall over something and there won't be a mark on him. So I was a bit surprised when I discovered the bruises (they weren't visible yet during the paddling as not only had they not surfaced yet but at the same time his little tush was quite red so I wouldn't have seen them yet even if they were there). It stands to reason now that when T uses that paddle on me, he will have to be very careful as I DO bruise easily. I think my butt is much more resilient then the rest of me though as he's delivered some quite intense erotic spankings and I didn't have any bruises. But we shall see.
On a side note, Welcome to all our new readers and a big THANK YOU to Bonnie (My Bottom Smarts) for helping us get some readership.
~D~
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Stop Signs & U-Turns
It's been a while since I did a post. D has done three as I've sat back and watched. I don't have an excuse and won't try to come up with one.
I labeled this post "Stop Signs & U-Turns" because they seem to be popping up on the road we're on right now. As we began this blog, things were going well. We were communicating and following the rules, we were paying attention to changes that needed to be made and acting on them. Recently, we have both been letting too many things slide and not motivating each other in the ways we should. We have gotten lazy and drifted back into our old ways and haven't made some changes that we both would like to make. We are still drinking more water, but we aren't always getting the three bottles per day that we established for ourselves. We haven't started working out like we said we would. We are not holding each other accountable for this and other rules we have set.
I'm not saying everything is going bad right now. Our lives today are better than they were, but we still have a long road ahead, and if we keep putting these obstacles in our way we'll never reach the end.
~T~
I labeled this post "Stop Signs & U-Turns" because they seem to be popping up on the road we're on right now. As we began this blog, things were going well. We were communicating and following the rules, we were paying attention to changes that needed to be made and acting on them. Recently, we have both been letting too many things slide and not motivating each other in the ways we should. We have gotten lazy and drifted back into our old ways and haven't made some changes that we both would like to make. We are still drinking more water, but we aren't always getting the three bottles per day that we established for ourselves. We haven't started working out like we said we would. We are not holding each other accountable for this and other rules we have set.
I'm not saying everything is going bad right now. Our lives today are better than they were, but we still have a long road ahead, and if we keep putting these obstacles in our way we'll never reach the end.
~T~
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Update
Well, I guess I waited long enough to see if T was going to post here but alas, he hasn't so I will. He did make a comment on my last post so I guess that counts a little.
I did get a punishment that night I wrote my last entry. It wasn't a harsh punishment but it WAS more then I've gotten before (which isn't surprising since I haven't had that many). I think what made it more aside from the amount of whacks I got was it was the first time I really understood the whole clearing of the slate thing. T mentioned it in his post about his punishment but until this one for me, I hadn't really "got it". This punishment gave me a new definition of forgiveness. Not just the forgiveness I got from T, but I was able to forgive myself for what I had done. It was like a weight was lifted from me.
Someone had posed the question about how one can get past a punishment they received in order to give a proper punishment to the person who had just toasted their buns so to speak. Her point was that she felt that if she had the power to punish her husband like he punishes her, when it came time for a spanking, she would be keeping a running "tally" of her punishment and her thoughts would be "just wait till it's your turn over MY knee".
Well, this scenario played out in our house that very night. Before he commenced my punishment, he did a bit of confessing of his own. Once mine was over, I decided to take care of his as well so we would both have a clean slate and have a fresh start. Did I hold a grudge and beat the tar out of him for spanking me? No. I feel that if the punishment is done properly, which it was, I won't have those feelings. I knew what I did wrong and accepted it as well as the punishment. When the spanking was over, he hugged and kissed and everything was forgiven. So when it came time for me to take care of his punishment, I wasn't even thinking about the one he had JUST given me (not even 10 minutes had passed). His offenses were much more minor then mine so it wouldn't have been fair to give him as much or more as he gave me.
I also found that it wasn't very difficult at all to switch from being the submissive to the dominant like I did that night. I don't know if T had any issues with switching from Dom to sub but it didn't seem as if he did. He was even able to tell me that he needed a bit more when I asked if he felt the punishment was done. I can't describe how proud I was of him at that moment because I know how difficult it can be to ask for more when you're backside is already stinging and hot. I hadn't used the bath brush up to that point but I felt it was appropriate to give him what he needed and had the courage to ask for. After a few swats with it, he was ready to be done. LOL
Hopefully he will come in here soon and give his thoughts on everything I've covered here. I guess I need to remind him that this blog exists as he tends to forget things like this. He has a "regular" blog that he hasn't touched in probably 6-8 months. I won't let that happen here. Maybe I'll make it a rule that he has to come in here and post at least twice a month and make it spankable if he doesn't. Till next time...
~D~
I did get a punishment that night I wrote my last entry. It wasn't a harsh punishment but it WAS more then I've gotten before (which isn't surprising since I haven't had that many). I think what made it more aside from the amount of whacks I got was it was the first time I really understood the whole clearing of the slate thing. T mentioned it in his post about his punishment but until this one for me, I hadn't really "got it". This punishment gave me a new definition of forgiveness. Not just the forgiveness I got from T, but I was able to forgive myself for what I had done. It was like a weight was lifted from me.
Someone had posed the question about how one can get past a punishment they received in order to give a proper punishment to the person who had just toasted their buns so to speak. Her point was that she felt that if she had the power to punish her husband like he punishes her, when it came time for a spanking, she would be keeping a running "tally" of her punishment and her thoughts would be "just wait till it's your turn over MY knee".
Well, this scenario played out in our house that very night. Before he commenced my punishment, he did a bit of confessing of his own. Once mine was over, I decided to take care of his as well so we would both have a clean slate and have a fresh start. Did I hold a grudge and beat the tar out of him for spanking me? No. I feel that if the punishment is done properly, which it was, I won't have those feelings. I knew what I did wrong and accepted it as well as the punishment. When the spanking was over, he hugged and kissed and everything was forgiven. So when it came time for me to take care of his punishment, I wasn't even thinking about the one he had JUST given me (not even 10 minutes had passed). His offenses were much more minor then mine so it wouldn't have been fair to give him as much or more as he gave me.
I also found that it wasn't very difficult at all to switch from being the submissive to the dominant like I did that night. I don't know if T had any issues with switching from Dom to sub but it didn't seem as if he did. He was even able to tell me that he needed a bit more when I asked if he felt the punishment was done. I can't describe how proud I was of him at that moment because I know how difficult it can be to ask for more when you're backside is already stinging and hot. I hadn't used the bath brush up to that point but I felt it was appropriate to give him what he needed and had the courage to ask for. After a few swats with it, he was ready to be done. LOL
Hopefully he will come in here soon and give his thoughts on everything I've covered here. I guess I need to remind him that this blog exists as he tends to forget things like this. He has a "regular" blog that he hasn't touched in probably 6-8 months. I won't let that happen here. Maybe I'll make it a rule that he has to come in here and post at least twice a month and make it spankable if he doesn't. Till next time...
~D~
Friday, February 1, 2008
Confession Session
After much prodding by a friend online who is also in a DD (male HOH version) relationship I decided it was best if I did some confessing to not only T but myself and anyone who happens to read this blog. I should probably be writing this in my journal rather then here but why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone right? So where to start...
T has been very busy lately and hasn't been home much since Tuesday. Sometimes his job takes him away from home so this is not unusual but this is the first time it's really happened since we stated DDD. I knew that it would be a challenge to follow and enforce the rules with being apart. I seem to be having more of a problem then T is with this matter. My main downfall is this one rule we have about eating. I absolutely hate having to eat breakfast and lunch. One of our rules is we will eat breakfast, lunch and dinner every day (we let this slide on the weekends when we don't always get up in time for breakfast). Most of our rules are for our health like this one and drinking water etc. I can usually drink the water unless my stomach can't handle any more but the meals... I'm having issues with. Normally if either of us were having issues with a rule we would discuss it and figure out if something needed to be changed or reworked. This rule is non-negotiable.
So instead of discussing my difficulty with the rule and trying to work harder to follow it, I've turned to making excuses as to why I didn't follow it. Now, not every time that I've had an excuse has it been false or made up, but more times then not in the past week, the excuse (my stomach was bothering me etc.) has been just to get away with not having to eat rather then a real issue. The real issue was that I didn't feel like eating so to save me from having to put a tally mark (And thus saving my butt) in my journal for missing a meal or having to suck it up and actually eat something, I would give an excuse that I felt was an acceptable reason to miss the meal... and it worked. I can't remember exactly how many meals I've miss so far this week but today alone I did not eat breakfast. Yesterday I didn't eat breakfast or lunch and so on and so forth. I have been dishonest I would say about 60% of the time as to the reason why I hadn't eaten, and that's when I admitted I hadn't eaten at all.
I wish that was all but there is one more thing I guess I need to confess. It all started when T was actually able to come yesterday evening unexpectedly. I was very happy to see him and after eating some dinner and made sure our daughter was doing what she should be doing, I quickly stripped and got into the shower with him (even though I had just showered that morning) and proceeded to relieve some of his stress and help us along for later. He always likes to go once before we start anything so I figured I would take care of that so that later once the child was in bed, we could have our fun. I even made sure he understood that I was in the mood and hoping for some play time later. There was no guess work involved like happens with a lot of women. Well, later didn't happen. T was tired from a long day and after our show we were watching was over, he was still trying to go through the over 100 emails that had accumulated during his absence. Once he was done with that, we brushed our teeth and went to bed. While saying our good nights he said he was sorry that we didn't do anything and I said it wasn't a big deal. I lied.
It wasn't a huge deal but it did bother me that he got his "fix" but I didn't get mine and I knew he wouldn't be home for the next few days (at least) to do it either. He knew it bothered me and told me not to just say it was ok and build up a wall but I played it off and we went to sleep. One of our rules is honesty. Really it shouldn't be a rule but a given but we both have a tendency to hold things back just to keep things running smoothly for the time being. Last night was the perfect example of that. I didn't want to get into a conversation about it at the time because I knew he was really tired and needed to get some sleep so to tell him these things either would have resulted him trying to stay up to give me my "fix" (which is for both of us really but he had already had gotten his fix earlier) or he would have gone to bed feeling guilty that he hadn't taken the time to be intimate with me.
I didn't want to give him that guilt or keep him up any later knowing that he already has enough on his mind. Where that may have been a good thought, it was wrong of me to not be honest with my feelings and tell him what was on my mind. The rule clearly states that when asked a question we answer it honestly and if we have a problem to discuss it and not let it fester and turn into something bigger then it needed to be. I broke that rule. My intentions may have been good, but I still made the wrong decision to keep my true feelings from him.
So with my confession now complete I sit here nervously wondering if I should it the "publish post" button. I don't know what the results of this confession post will be but I know the possible outcomes and one of them does not bode well for my rear end. We shall see...
~D~
T has been very busy lately and hasn't been home much since Tuesday. Sometimes his job takes him away from home so this is not unusual but this is the first time it's really happened since we stated DDD. I knew that it would be a challenge to follow and enforce the rules with being apart. I seem to be having more of a problem then T is with this matter. My main downfall is this one rule we have about eating. I absolutely hate having to eat breakfast and lunch. One of our rules is we will eat breakfast, lunch and dinner every day (we let this slide on the weekends when we don't always get up in time for breakfast). Most of our rules are for our health like this one and drinking water etc. I can usually drink the water unless my stomach can't handle any more but the meals... I'm having issues with. Normally if either of us were having issues with a rule we would discuss it and figure out if something needed to be changed or reworked. This rule is non-negotiable.
So instead of discussing my difficulty with the rule and trying to work harder to follow it, I've turned to making excuses as to why I didn't follow it. Now, not every time that I've had an excuse has it been false or made up, but more times then not in the past week, the excuse (my stomach was bothering me etc.) has been just to get away with not having to eat rather then a real issue. The real issue was that I didn't feel like eating so to save me from having to put a tally mark (And thus saving my butt) in my journal for missing a meal or having to suck it up and actually eat something, I would give an excuse that I felt was an acceptable reason to miss the meal... and it worked. I can't remember exactly how many meals I've miss so far this week but today alone I did not eat breakfast. Yesterday I didn't eat breakfast or lunch and so on and so forth. I have been dishonest I would say about 60% of the time as to the reason why I hadn't eaten, and that's when I admitted I hadn't eaten at all.
I wish that was all but there is one more thing I guess I need to confess. It all started when T was actually able to come yesterday evening unexpectedly. I was very happy to see him and after eating some dinner and made sure our daughter was doing what she should be doing, I quickly stripped and got into the shower with him (even though I had just showered that morning) and proceeded to relieve some of his stress and help us along for later. He always likes to go once before we start anything so I figured I would take care of that so that later once the child was in bed, we could have our fun. I even made sure he understood that I was in the mood and hoping for some play time later. There was no guess work involved like happens with a lot of women. Well, later didn't happen. T was tired from a long day and after our show we were watching was over, he was still trying to go through the over 100 emails that had accumulated during his absence. Once he was done with that, we brushed our teeth and went to bed. While saying our good nights he said he was sorry that we didn't do anything and I said it wasn't a big deal. I lied.
It wasn't a huge deal but it did bother me that he got his "fix" but I didn't get mine and I knew he wouldn't be home for the next few days (at least) to do it either. He knew it bothered me and told me not to just say it was ok and build up a wall but I played it off and we went to sleep. One of our rules is honesty. Really it shouldn't be a rule but a given but we both have a tendency to hold things back just to keep things running smoothly for the time being. Last night was the perfect example of that. I didn't want to get into a conversation about it at the time because I knew he was really tired and needed to get some sleep so to tell him these things either would have resulted him trying to stay up to give me my "fix" (which is for both of us really but he had already had gotten his fix earlier) or he would have gone to bed feeling guilty that he hadn't taken the time to be intimate with me.
I didn't want to give him that guilt or keep him up any later knowing that he already has enough on his mind. Where that may have been a good thought, it was wrong of me to not be honest with my feelings and tell him what was on my mind. The rule clearly states that when asked a question we answer it honestly and if we have a problem to discuss it and not let it fester and turn into something bigger then it needed to be. I broke that rule. My intentions may have been good, but I still made the wrong decision to keep my true feelings from him.
So with my confession now complete I sit here nervously wondering if I should it the "publish post" button. I don't know what the results of this confession post will be but I know the possible outcomes and one of them does not bode well for my rear end. We shall see...
~D~
Sunday, January 27, 2008
My Turn
I got my first real punishment the other night. It was pretty minor seeing as I had only earned 1 tally mark worth 5 whacks for using inappropriate language around our daughter. It's one of the things we really wanted to stop doing so that's why it earned me 5 whacks. T started with a little bit of a warm up and then I got 5 stingy whacks with the bath brush. As I said, it was pretty minor but it did sting. I can't say that I had as powerful an experience as T did after his encounter but it did do it's job and I've been more careful with my language.
The use of the journals and tally system has really made a difference in our journey. No more letting things slide and things are actually starting to change around here. I owe T 10 whacks right now plus a couple "penalty swats" for trying to blame me for one of the tally marks he earned and trying to talk and joke his way out of the spanking for the tally mark. Once I take care of the punishment (probably tonight) both our slates will be clear. Now that we've both been doing so well with the actual set rules, more things will start to come into play that don't necessarily have a set number of swats for an infraction. Attitude and all around behavior will be looked at much more closely and dealt with when needed.
We did change things a little bit with the journals though as we won't be waiting for the end of the week or a certain day (We originally decided on Friday). I didn't want to start dreading Fridays because one or both of us had a spanking to deliver or receive. Not only that but it wasn't as effective as it could be when something has happened like the Saturday or Sunday before and it gets put off until Friday to be dealt with. So now things will be dealt with more frequently when needed, time allowing that is. As I said, I still owe T 10 whacks for stuff that happened last weekend but time and obligations got in the way. I'll be taking care of that tonight hopefully.
Well, that's it for this installation. Till next time...
~D~
The use of the journals and tally system has really made a difference in our journey. No more letting things slide and things are actually starting to change around here. I owe T 10 whacks right now plus a couple "penalty swats" for trying to blame me for one of the tally marks he earned and trying to talk and joke his way out of the spanking for the tally mark. Once I take care of the punishment (probably tonight) both our slates will be clear. Now that we've both been doing so well with the actual set rules, more things will start to come into play that don't necessarily have a set number of swats for an infraction. Attitude and all around behavior will be looked at much more closely and dealt with when needed.
We did change things a little bit with the journals though as we won't be waiting for the end of the week or a certain day (We originally decided on Friday). I didn't want to start dreading Fridays because one or both of us had a spanking to deliver or receive. Not only that but it wasn't as effective as it could be when something has happened like the Saturday or Sunday before and it gets put off until Friday to be dealt with. So now things will be dealt with more frequently when needed, time allowing that is. As I said, I still owe T 10 whacks for stuff that happened last weekend but time and obligations got in the way. I'll be taking care of that tonight hopefully.
Well, that's it for this installation. Till next time...
~D~
Saturday, January 19, 2008
My Butt Hurts
Dragon mentioned the new journal plan we've implemented. It works. And I was the first to feel the effects.
This past week has been rough on us, mostly because my work schedule has been very hectic and I was under a lot of stress. My job in part deals with areas of national security. I can't really go into what my job entails, but if I don't get the work done, it could interfere with whether or not a naval vessel is ready for a mission. I know that sounds like I'm one of those guys that makes stuff up to get attention, but I assure you, I'm not. I'm just the supervisor for a small group of guys that provide repairs and materials to those vessels and have to coordinate with other entities just like me to get the job done. This week I had a hard time getting things done because of unforeseen obstacles. I tried not to let that stress carry over to my home life, but when I would call home and say "I'm still working. Not sure when I'll be home" it caused stress. But my Dragon was always supportive of me... and for that, I thank her.
I did break a few rules and through our tally system I accumulated 26 whacks. Last night she gave them to me. She was nice and gave me some lighter warm-up swats and then gave me the punishment swats I deserved...with the bathbrush. That things sucks. But I kept thinking about the rules I had broken and how my breaking those rules affected our lives. After we were done, I felt much better. She told me she loved me and that the slate was now clear. We embraced for a few minutes and I felt at peace for the first time in a week.
I am glad that we are moving forward in our DDD lifestyle and that I was able to learn from my mistakes. This week, I plan to follow the rules and also ensure she follows them. Without both of us playing our parts, this DDD relationship is not doing what we are intending it to do. We are doing good and with more patience and perseverance we will get even better at it.
I just wish she would have broken at least one rule. She's way to good at being good.
~T~
This past week has been rough on us, mostly because my work schedule has been very hectic and I was under a lot of stress. My job in part deals with areas of national security. I can't really go into what my job entails, but if I don't get the work done, it could interfere with whether or not a naval vessel is ready for a mission. I know that sounds like I'm one of those guys that makes stuff up to get attention, but I assure you, I'm not. I'm just the supervisor for a small group of guys that provide repairs and materials to those vessels and have to coordinate with other entities just like me to get the job done. This week I had a hard time getting things done because of unforeseen obstacles. I tried not to let that stress carry over to my home life, but when I would call home and say "I'm still working. Not sure when I'll be home" it caused stress. But my Dragon was always supportive of me... and for that, I thank her.
I did break a few rules and through our tally system I accumulated 26 whacks. Last night she gave them to me. She was nice and gave me some lighter warm-up swats and then gave me the punishment swats I deserved...with the bathbrush. That things sucks. But I kept thinking about the rules I had broken and how my breaking those rules affected our lives. After we were done, I felt much better. She told me she loved me and that the slate was now clear. We embraced for a few minutes and I felt at peace for the first time in a week.
I am glad that we are moving forward in our DDD lifestyle and that I was able to learn from my mistakes. This week, I plan to follow the rules and also ensure she follows them. Without both of us playing our parts, this DDD relationship is not doing what we are intending it to do. We are doing good and with more patience and perseverance we will get even better at it.
I just wish she would have broken at least one rule. She's way to good at being good.
~T~
Monday, January 14, 2008
We're Even Syndrome
So one of the issues we've run into on this DDD journey is with having some of the same rules, we were tending to let things slide and say we're "even" so neither of us had any consequences. Where that might have been saving our butts, it wasn't doing us any good on making changes around here. So we've instituted a new plan where we write in personal journal and we will be keeping tally marks of the rules etc. that we've broken throughout the week and it will be dealt with when we review each other's journals. Each rule's tally mark will have it's own "value" and will be added up at the end of the week.
I got the idea from some of the members at the SpankSpot forums. I can't remember who it was that posted about doing journals like this but we thought it was a great idea and a great way to stop the "we're even" syndrome and actually get some changes made in our lives. It's caused us both to step up and be more proactive in this journey which is a good thing. You can't make changes unless you're willing to make the effort.
~D~
I got the idea from some of the members at the SpankSpot forums. I can't remember who it was that posted about doing journals like this but we thought it was a great idea and a great way to stop the "we're even" syndrome and actually get some changes made in our lives. It's caused us both to step up and be more proactive in this journey which is a good thing. You can't make changes unless you're willing to make the effort.
~D~
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